I love to make her shudder

Not every session works out, but all sessions help to further the understanding of each other, our needs and desires. Sometimes, though, I get it right! Our latest session was one that worked out we'll and reminds us why we do this.
I can still see her now, tied securely with a spreader bar between her wrists, pushing her pussy out to meet my crop at my request. I remember the conflict visible on her face, when she struggled to honor my request and open herself up to more pain. I can remember how erotic is was to pound her pussy with a large inflatable dildo while slapping at her clit with my hand. And finally, I know what a great session it was, because I watched her shudder uncontrollable from the sensory assault on her body.

Sometimes I wonder what to do

The nature of our relationship restricts what and where we can enjoy each other. Most of the time that means restricting ourselves to a hotel room. It also means that sometimes we get together at the last minute with no time to plan. As I drive over to meet her, I sometimes wonder about what to do. Our time together is limited and I want it to be great. When I have no time to plan, I worry I am going to create a session which is identical to a previous one. I want to walk away from our time together feeling good, feeling like the Dom she wants me to be and the Dom that I enjoy being. If I create a less than great session, I don't feel that way, and I know she doesn't either. Sometimes I have every minute of our session planned, from the moment the door opened, until the time we leave and other times I haven't a clue what I am going to do. Funny thing is, some of the unplanned sessions have been our best and some of the planned ones haven't gone as well as they did in my mind. I am not a planner, I am a spontaneous person, living for the moment,and I don't enjoy planning. But the sessions I plan generally go better than the ones I don't. So for her, I will endeavour to plan our sessions whenever I can.

I thought you might enjoy this picture of my sub. She kindly agreed to let me display pictures of her here

Lastly, I want to thank those took the time to comment. It is much appreciated.

No substitute for the real thing!

While we made real progress in communicating online effectively last week, there is no substitute for getting together. We met early in the week, and quickly after welcoming her with a kiss, I grabbed her by hair and slid my hand under her shirt, and reminded myself how good her body feels. Then I pushed her to her knees and pressed her head to the floor with my foot, telling her to lick my other foot. She struggled as I held her head tightly against the floor. After switching feet and determining that she had done an acceptable job licking both my feet, I had her rim my asshole. " You must earn your way to my cock" I told her. After rimming me to my satisfaction, I turned around and ordered her to suck my cock. I let her suck my cock for a while but then I took matters in hand and fucked her face. It had been a while, so I was easy on her in the beginning as she struggled with my cock in her throat. I do enjoy listening to her gag around my cock so I held it deep in her throat until she started gagging and struggling hard not to pull herself off. I love the way she honors me by trying hard not to pull away or ask me to stop.

From there I bent her over the the end of the bed, grabbed her wrists and held them behind her back and fucked her hard from behind, pulling her onto my cock with her arms. I went back and forth from fucking her from behind t0 having her suck my cock until I came hard in her cunt. Then we hugged and I whispered "welcome back". It was a nice way to get reacquainted.

As an unexpected treat, we were able to get together again the next day. While the session was briefer, it was even more intense as we didn't spend anytime getting to know each other again.

It's weeks last this one that make the previous three bearable.

Time doesn't heal all wounds

Whenever we are unable to get together, we tend to drift apart and chatting online doesn't seems to help, if fact it often makes things worse. Our normal lives seem to be the culprit. Both my sub and I have jobs that make it difficult to get together or even to chat effectively online. In the end, we wind up chatting as friends and not as Dom and Sub. That seems to weaken our relationship. We've tried chatting as Dom and sub, but work, interruptions and meetings make that very difficult and extremely frustrating. You can't control a sub that is already being controlled by another, her work. On top of that, coming up with conversation which is interesting and pertinent is difficult to do all the time.

When days apart turn into weeks, the situation grows worse. Over the last few weeks we had been unable to get together. This time communication became guarded, short and uninteresting. Somehow there had to be a way to fix this without meeting, which had been the way we previously had repaired our relationship. Being the Dom, the task fell to me to solve it. The answer was to wait for a suitable opportunity during the day for both of us to concentrate, and then to force us both to analyze the situation until we identified the issue and drafted a solution. It wasn't a substitute for a meeting, but it did allow us understand what was bothering us and work to find solutions that allow our time apart not to tear us apart. What was the answer? Simple, understand we are both busy, use only the end of the day to connect as Dom and Sub, and use the rest of the day to merely reach out and touch the other to let them know we are thinking of them without trying to create conversation.

Toy's ... an exercise in frustration

They look so good on the web pages, held by beautiful models and described with enticing words. Some even have testimonials from satisfied users. Get them home however, and the story is different. The last order of toys we received contained two remote vibrators. These were something we were looking forward to using, a way of extending our play out in public yet discreetly. So when they arrived, we were very excited. That didn't last. We purchased an remote egg with six motions and an remote external butterfly. Both were major letdowns. When I pushed the egg inside her, not only was I not able to make it start without having the remote three inches from her cunt, (definitely not discreet) but when it finally did run, she could barely feel it and it wasn't stimulating in the least. The butterfly was similarly disappointing. The order would have been a total flop except there was a replacement riding crop. I love using a crop. However can't seem to keep one as I have left two behind in hotel rooms in the past. There was also a penis gag which had an unexpected effect, it prevented my sub from swallowing. She tried one time and and almost choked to death so after that she was forced to drool all over herself. That was a unexpected, but quite enjoyable side effect.

It's those few that do work out that will likely keep us buying more and likely continue to be both disappointed and pleased.

I want to hear from you

It's hard being two married people, married to others that is, meeting and trying to maintain a Dominant - submissive relationship. Our other lives are constantly getting in the way of everything we do and everything we want to do. We can't play publicly, but we both would like to. We can't really get carried away with whips or crops or anything that would leave marks, yet we both would love to. We can't go away for a weekend and really get into our roles for an extended period of time, yet we both would love to try. Ultimately we meet in secret, always fearful that today is the day we slip up and our spouses discover our secret. It limits our growth, it keeps apprehension in the back of our minds, and ultimately detracts from what brings us together in the first place, a strong desire, perhaps need, to let that other person inside of us out.

So I would like to hear from any other couples that are in similar circumstances. How do you cope? How do you keep things interesting and fresh when you have to meet secretly? Maybe there is a need for the cheating doms and subs munches or dungeons. Certainly there should be a forum for us to relate to each other allow us to feel less alone in our journeys. So if you are like us and you have discovered my blog, ( two big ifs) post a comment or two.

Face Slapping

I love to slap a woman's face. I am not completely sure why. Maybe it's because it is considered completely taboo in the vanilla world, as if it was the worst thing you could do to someone and doing something taboo is fun.. I am not sure but I do know it feels good, it sounds good and most importantly, it instantly commands attention and conveys your control over your sub. So I was very pleasantly surprised to find out that my sub likes as much as I do. I shouldn't be surprised, she craves being controlled, and slapping her face makes her feel controlled and ultimately submissive. So why didn't I see that earlier? I guess I need to take more time to reflect on what works, and what doesn't work during our encounters, so I will struggle less and be more the Dom I want to be and the Dom I know she wants me to be.

Who what have guessed that being a Dom was so complicated? Certainly I didn't as I began, thinking my confident personality would get the job done. I have discovered however, that being a Dom is more than just being there in the moment; it's preparing, communicating, reflecting and adjusting. I guess that would probably apply to all my relationships, but I am not ready to admit that just yet. Doing it with one person is tough enough, with everyone I care about, well that would be simply exhausting.