It's been a while, has my time passed?

As you likely suspected, my relationship with my sub is over. It has been great but all good things must come to an end. It's been over a year since it ended and I am trying to go without. In the beginning it was fairly easy but lately I find myself missing all the good things that I had with my sub. Do I get another sub? Finding a sub is hard, finding one that can give me what I need and needs what I can give is even harder. I am undecided at this point. I look online occasionally but I don't seem to have the enthusiasm to find another sub. Maybe my time has passed, maybe I am meant to settle down and go through life like most others, leaving fantasies unfulfilled. I am fortunate enough to have lived most of mine. I should be happy with that. So why am I not?