Toy's ... an exercise in frustration

They look so good on the web pages, held by beautiful models and described with enticing words. Some even have testimonials from satisfied users. Get them home however, and the story is different. The last order of toys we received contained two remote vibrators. These were something we were looking forward to using, a way of extending our play out in public yet discreetly. So when they arrived, we were very excited. That didn't last. We purchased an remote egg with six motions and an remote external butterfly. Both were major letdowns. When I pushed the egg inside her, not only was I not able to make it start without having the remote three inches from her cunt, (definitely not discreet) but when it finally did run, she could barely feel it and it wasn't stimulating in the least. The butterfly was similarly disappointing. The order would have been a total flop except there was a replacement riding crop. I love using a crop. However can't seem to keep one as I have left two behind in hotel rooms in the past. There was also a penis gag which had an unexpected effect, it prevented my sub from swallowing. She tried one time and and almost choked to death so after that she was forced to drool all over herself. That was a unexpected, but quite enjoyable side effect.

It's those few that do work out that will likely keep us buying more and likely continue to be both disappointed and pleased.

I want to hear from you

It's hard being two married people, married to others that is, meeting and trying to maintain a Dominant - submissive relationship. Our other lives are constantly getting in the way of everything we do and everything we want to do. We can't play publicly, but we both would like to. We can't really get carried away with whips or crops or anything that would leave marks, yet we both would love to. We can't go away for a weekend and really get into our roles for an extended period of time, yet we both would love to try. Ultimately we meet in secret, always fearful that today is the day we slip up and our spouses discover our secret. It limits our growth, it keeps apprehension in the back of our minds, and ultimately detracts from what brings us together in the first place, a strong desire, perhaps need, to let that other person inside of us out.

So I would like to hear from any other couples that are in similar circumstances. How do you cope? How do you keep things interesting and fresh when you have to meet secretly? Maybe there is a need for the cheating doms and subs munches or dungeons. Certainly there should be a forum for us to relate to each other allow us to feel less alone in our journeys. So if you are like us and you have discovered my blog, ( two big ifs) post a comment or two.

Face Slapping

I love to slap a woman's face. I am not completely sure why. Maybe it's because it is considered completely taboo in the vanilla world, as if it was the worst thing you could do to someone and doing something taboo is fun.. I am not sure but I do know it feels good, it sounds good and most importantly, it instantly commands attention and conveys your control over your sub. So I was very pleasantly surprised to find out that my sub likes as much as I do. I shouldn't be surprised, she craves being controlled, and slapping her face makes her feel controlled and ultimately submissive. So why didn't I see that earlier? I guess I need to take more time to reflect on what works, and what doesn't work during our encounters, so I will struggle less and be more the Dom I want to be and the Dom I know she wants me to be.

Who what have guessed that being a Dom was so complicated? Certainly I didn't as I began, thinking my confident personality would get the job done. I have discovered however, that being a Dom is more than just being there in the moment; it's preparing, communicating, reflecting and adjusting. I guess that would probably apply to all my relationships, but I am not ready to admit that just yet. Doing it with one person is tough enough, with everyone I care about, well that would be simply exhausting.

Am I the only one?

I keep looking for blogs that interest me, written by other married people going through what we are going through. What I find all a lot of blogs where women go on and on about how wonderful their Master /owner is, and how perfect their situation is. Am I the only Dom that struggles? Am I the only one whose sub doesn't think he is perfect? I read their blogs and they seem so one dimensional to me. They don't they argue, don't they have problems, and have nothing less than perfect encounters. If I wasn't a confident individual, I might start to worry about myself. I do struggle, I do make mistakes, and my sub tells me when I do. I wish I could say that she makes mistakes, but the rules of this relationship are that I lead and she follows. If my sub doesn't act the way I want, then likely I didn't do what was necessary to get her to act the way I want her to. But, as my previous post says, we talk and use that to move on.

I'll keep looking for blogs that I like. I am certain there are more like us out there, and more Doms like me that aren't perfect.

Comunicate, comunicate comunicate

What a difference a week makes! After a difficult week last week, we had a great experience this week. She came in having read my last post, wondering if she had been too hard on me the week before. Was she wondering if she was too selfish? Was she wondering if she was not a submissive? I had her thinking. She came in and I acted like nothing had happened. I had her strip and put on her wrist and ankle cuffs. Then I stretched her out over the desk. I told her to get as comfortable as she could, as she would be there a while. I attached a spreader bar to her ankles and pulled her wrists over the end of the desk, then tied them back to her ankles. There she waiting, for what would come next. After her rebuke of the previous week I'm sure she expected a serious trashing and I didn't disappoint. I gagged her with a penis gag, which had her drooling the whole time. Then I started with a riding crop and whipped her harder than I ever had. I wasn't going to be rebuked this week. I continued thrashing her ass, her thighs her cunt and increased the intensity to the point where she was reacting with every lash. I fingered her cunt every few minutes. At first it was really wet but as she moved to from enjoy to endure she wasn't as wet. After several minutes I asked her if she had had enough and she said yes. That's when I started with the flogger. I enjoyed every minute moving from her back to her ass and even flogging her cunt. Both the crop and the flogger had her lifting herself completely off the table. trying to avoid the abuse to her cunt. The more she reacted the more I wanted to continue. By the time I released her she was my submissive, ready to do what ever I wanted. When I finally took her off the desk she assumed the ordeal was done. But know I tied her to the door and began working on her front side. Finally I released her. Then I fucked her face for a while before putting her on her back with her head over the edge of the bed and sliding my cock deep into her throat. I warned her that if I felt her teeth I would whip her cunt again. I can happily say that she never let her teeth touch my cock, and for the rest of the evening she was very pliant. She was mine and I brought that out of her, it was very satisfying.

The moral of the story is you can't communicate enough and when things are bad, you need to communicate even more. We did, and now things are better than ever. Dom, sub, Master, top bottom, those are all labels and mean more in stories then they do in real life. What was important for us, is that we know why we get together, that we understand what we want, and need, and we don't worry about anything else.