Thoughts about breath play

I have to admit the thought of breath play in the past has always scared me. I couldn't understand the attraction as I read other's thoughts on the topic. Occasionally I would see high school kids knocking each other out for fun,and I equated that as breath play and it make me shake my head and question their sanity.

Lately however, I have discovered that while I still don't want to render my sub unconscious, I do like the feel of my hand around her throat. the more I squeeze the more helpless she becomes. Nothing seems to bring me a feeling of control as quickly. My sub becomes totally focused in what I am doing, and waits for me to decide to either release her or knock her out. It provides me with an intense feeling of dominance, having that power, and I can know see what others see in it. I also realize that it is a topic that I need to learn more about, since the consequences of error are quite grave.

So that is what I intend to do, gather the facts around the risks and techniques required for safe breath play. I look forward to posting the results of my learning's. In the meantime, I will go slowly as I have no desire to harm my sub.

Work sucks

I know you didn't wait two weeks just to read me write this. I have been away on vacation and unable to keep up with my blog. I enjoyed my vacation, but it did keep me away from my sub, who patiently waited for my return. Of course upon returning, there is a mountain of work to get caught up on and little time to chat with my sub. Our lives do not allow much in way of communication except chat, so we both do the best we can to make ourselves available for each other. When work piles up for either of us, chatting becomes difficult or frustrating. Difficult, since carrying on anything but a very casual conversation requires some uninterrupted time which isn't available, and frustrating, when the either of us is unable to keep up their end. The resulting conversation is less than sparkling. and ultimately adds to the feeling of distance and separation that we have. We did get a chance to meet this week and after a prolonged absence. I find our first session after an absence always disappointing. I feel great pressure to be a perfect dominant, to make up for lost time and put our relationship back in the good place it was at before I left. This week I have to accomplish this under time pressure since our schedules didn't permit much time together.
It was a good meeting but I can't help feeling disappointed in my effort. I wanted to leave an impression, to remind her why we risk so much to be together and to live our needs. Somehow I never leave feeling like I accomplished my goal and this week was no different. Maybe I put too much pressure on myself, but she is worth it and leaving her feeling owned by me is the greatest feeling I get as a dominant. I can tell when I do leave that impression on her, I see it in her eyes. To feel truly dominant, I need to see that look, to have her enter my room as a busy business woman and leave my submissive. That's why I do this.

A good place

It's big a while since. I last posted, due in large part to an extraordinarily busy travel schedule. We haven't been able to get together in over two weeks and I find myself missing her greatly. It's not our first pause, and each time they happen I find myself reflecting on our relationship, and this time is no different. We are in a good place now with both of us enjoying ourselves and getting what we need. Sometimes our pauses have caused us to drift apart, due in large part to some pretty ineffective sessions prior to our break. This time seems different, likely because our recent sessions have been much better. Am I finally getting the hang of being a Dom? Boy I hope so. Being a good Dom is not easy. Too often I read about Doms whose relationship is completely one sided; everything is about them. and no thought is given to their sub's needs. As a new Dom I read a number of blogs and stories like this and foolishly felt I could act like an egocentric jerk and everything would be OK since her desire was to please me. Today I know how dumb that is and how her desire to please is born from my ability to satisfy her needs.
Our break is almost over and soon we will be able to resume our journey. I for one, can't wait to remind her in my own special way how important she is to me.

I love to make her shudder

Not every session works out, but all sessions help to further the understanding of each other, our needs and desires. Sometimes, though, I get it right! Our latest session was one that worked out we'll and reminds us why we do this.
I can still see her now, tied securely with a spreader bar between her wrists, pushing her pussy out to meet my crop at my request. I remember the conflict visible on her face, when she struggled to honor my request and open herself up to more pain. I can remember how erotic is was to pound her pussy with a large inflatable dildo while slapping at her clit with my hand. And finally, I know what a great session it was, because I watched her shudder uncontrollable from the sensory assault on her body.

Sometimes I wonder what to do

The nature of our relationship restricts what and where we can enjoy each other. Most of the time that means restricting ourselves to a hotel room. It also means that sometimes we get together at the last minute with no time to plan. As I drive over to meet her, I sometimes wonder about what to do. Our time together is limited and I want it to be great. When I have no time to plan, I worry I am going to create a session which is identical to a previous one. I want to walk away from our time together feeling good, feeling like the Dom she wants me to be and the Dom that I enjoy being. If I create a less than great session, I don't feel that way, and I know she doesn't either. Sometimes I have every minute of our session planned, from the moment the door opened, until the time we leave and other times I haven't a clue what I am going to do. Funny thing is, some of the unplanned sessions have been our best and some of the planned ones haven't gone as well as they did in my mind. I am not a planner, I am a spontaneous person, living for the moment,and I don't enjoy planning. But the sessions I plan generally go better than the ones I don't. So for her, I will endeavour to plan our sessions whenever I can.

I thought you might enjoy this picture of my sub. She kindly agreed to let me display pictures of her here

Lastly, I want to thank those took the time to comment. It is much appreciated.

No substitute for the real thing!

While we made real progress in communicating online effectively last week, there is no substitute for getting together. We met early in the week, and quickly after welcoming her with a kiss, I grabbed her by hair and slid my hand under her shirt, and reminded myself how good her body feels. Then I pushed her to her knees and pressed her head to the floor with my foot, telling her to lick my other foot. She struggled as I held her head tightly against the floor. After switching feet and determining that she had done an acceptable job licking both my feet, I had her rim my asshole. " You must earn your way to my cock" I told her. After rimming me to my satisfaction, I turned around and ordered her to suck my cock. I let her suck my cock for a while but then I took matters in hand and fucked her face. It had been a while, so I was easy on her in the beginning as she struggled with my cock in her throat. I do enjoy listening to her gag around my cock so I held it deep in her throat until she started gagging and struggling hard not to pull herself off. I love the way she honors me by trying hard not to pull away or ask me to stop.

From there I bent her over the the end of the bed, grabbed her wrists and held them behind her back and fucked her hard from behind, pulling her onto my cock with her arms. I went back and forth from fucking her from behind t0 having her suck my cock until I came hard in her cunt. Then we hugged and I whispered "welcome back". It was a nice way to get reacquainted.

As an unexpected treat, we were able to get together again the next day. While the session was briefer, it was even more intense as we didn't spend anytime getting to know each other again.

It's weeks last this one that make the previous three bearable.

Time doesn't heal all wounds

Whenever we are unable to get together, we tend to drift apart and chatting online doesn't seems to help, if fact it often makes things worse. Our normal lives seem to be the culprit. Both my sub and I have jobs that make it difficult to get together or even to chat effectively online. In the end, we wind up chatting as friends and not as Dom and Sub. That seems to weaken our relationship. We've tried chatting as Dom and sub, but work, interruptions and meetings make that very difficult and extremely frustrating. You can't control a sub that is already being controlled by another, her work. On top of that, coming up with conversation which is interesting and pertinent is difficult to do all the time.

When days apart turn into weeks, the situation grows worse. Over the last few weeks we had been unable to get together. This time communication became guarded, short and uninteresting. Somehow there had to be a way to fix this without meeting, which had been the way we previously had repaired our relationship. Being the Dom, the task fell to me to solve it. The answer was to wait for a suitable opportunity during the day for both of us to concentrate, and then to force us both to analyze the situation until we identified the issue and drafted a solution. It wasn't a substitute for a meeting, but it did allow us understand what was bothering us and work to find solutions that allow our time apart not to tear us apart. What was the answer? Simple, understand we are both busy, use only the end of the day to connect as Dom and Sub, and use the rest of the day to merely reach out and touch the other to let them know we are thinking of them without trying to create conversation.