Work sucks

I know you didn't wait two weeks just to read me write this. I have been away on vacation and unable to keep up with my blog. I enjoyed my vacation, but it did keep me away from my sub, who patiently waited for my return. Of course upon returning, there is a mountain of work to get caught up on and little time to chat with my sub. Our lives do not allow much in way of communication except chat, so we both do the best we can to make ourselves available for each other. When work piles up for either of us, chatting becomes difficult or frustrating. Difficult, since carrying on anything but a very casual conversation requires some uninterrupted time which isn't available, and frustrating, when the either of us is unable to keep up their end. The resulting conversation is less than sparkling. and ultimately adds to the feeling of distance and separation that we have. We did get a chance to meet this week and after a prolonged absence. I find our first session after an absence always disappointing. I feel great pressure to be a perfect dominant, to make up for lost time and put our relationship back in the good place it was at before I left. This week I have to accomplish this under time pressure since our schedules didn't permit much time together.
It was a good meeting but I can't help feeling disappointed in my effort. I wanted to leave an impression, to remind her why we risk so much to be together and to live our needs. Somehow I never leave feeling like I accomplished my goal and this week was no different. Maybe I put too much pressure on myself, but she is worth it and leaving her feeling owned by me is the greatest feeling I get as a dominant. I can tell when I do leave that impression on her, I see it in her eyes. To feel truly dominant, I need to see that look, to have her enter my room as a busy business woman and leave my submissive. That's why I do this.