Taking Control

My sub is a smart ass. She is smart, has an important rather technical job, and loves to heave smart ass comments online. This is quite alright with me. Over the years I have given up trying to exert control over her while online. She has a life that demands her attention, and she fits me in as best she can. There is no way to control her without interfering with her life. For quite a while I struggled with this. I felt somehow I should be her Dom all the time. I wrestled with turning on the Dom in me only when we saw each other face to face, alone. I wondered if I was somehow playing a game, a real life RPG. Was I really a Dom, or just playing one every now and then? As time when on, it came clear to me that what I needed was to take control, not to be given submission. Luckily that's exactly what she wanted; to have control exerted over her, to draw out the submission in her, rather than volunteer it. I also came to realise that I was always a Dom, and it was something that I hide in my home and working life, and suppressing it online was no different. It was just another place to leave it inside me.

When we meet, I take control. I impose my will physically and verbally throughout our meeting. I need it, she needs it. Together we get what we need and our relationship flourishes. I don't want to be given her submission, it's not a gift to be given to me as so many women describe it. That's like being given the ribbon for winning the race without running it. No, I want to win the prize, to solve the puzzle of her psyche and unlock the submissive that she stores away inside her as well as I do the Dom in me. For a few hours we are free to people we want to be. It's my job to make that happen. If I don't take control, we both are disappointed. Taking control should be easy I tell myself, so why have I not succeeded every time? I have decided that suppressing my domination all day, most days, leads to the problem. The answer at least for me, has been to plan out our encounters and allow time to for me to prepare. In doing so, I have time to allow the Dom in me to surface. When I do, our sessions are better and more satisfying.