Do you really have a need to serve?

I read a fair number of blogs, and as you can guess, most of them are written by subs. In many cases these subs talk about how much pleasure they get from serving their masters or how strong their need to serve is. I must say I find this difficult to believe. I have had only four subs for any length of time and none of them had a need to serve. Perhaps I don't inspire servitude in my subs, but I don't believe that to be the case. I feel a sub does her master's bidding because in pleasing him, the hope is that he will return the favour.
That doesn't mean that he has to do nice things, merely to do those things that drew the sub into the relationship in the first place. With my current sub things are no different. Just like in a vanilla relationship, if I satisfy her needs, she in turn wants to do the same for me. If either falls down on their end, the relationship suffers What makes a BDSM relationship different, in my opinion, is that a master can train or manipulate his sub to satisfy his own needs. If I need to feel like a dom or be sexually satisfied, then I can act or have my sub act to fill those needs. I can tell you that it is intoxicating to be able to have all your needs met. Unfortunately, there are times where in looking after my on needs, I have neglected my sub's needs. Lately our relationship has flourished because I have adjusted my requests or the manor in which I play with my sub to ensure her needs are met. They weren't major changes but enough to ensure both of us gain the most from being together.

Do you really need to serve, or are you serving as a means to an end?

Staying connected

One of the hardest things of having a sub that you don't live with or even see every day, is to stay connected as Master and sub. Our normal lives pull at us constantly leaving little time for us to renew our roles. It forces us to try to stay connected online. As I'm sure many of you have figured out, maintaining an online relationship after having had a real life one is a very poor substitute. Over the years I have tried many times to Dominate her online. I never felt very successful or fulfilled by doing this, and after some time I simply stopped trying.

Recently I decided to try anew. I decided that I needed a way to feel connected to her and when she completed a task or request that I asked her to do, no matter how silly, I did get a sense of fulfilment. She did it for me, why else would she do it other than I asked. I have even asked her to document the event using a digital camera and provide me proof, and again she complied. For some reason this time it's working. I feel like a Dom. She does done everything I ask, as soon as she can. I hope it is helping her feel as connected to me as I now feel connected to her.

Things have been going pretty well lately. We talk more, we let each other know more about what we like and don't, and we do not let anything fester as much as we may have in the past. Lately I am a happy Dom.