Tools of the trade

Every profession has its tools; this one is no different, but it only took me a long time to discover what they were. It's not like I haven't ever used them, it's that I only now understand that they are tools and how to use them effectively.

What am I talking about you ask? The tools of domination are pain, bondage, humiliation and rough handling. I used to think of them as activities and the real tools were floggers and whips and such but I have come to realise that pain bondage, humiliation and rough handling are in fact the tools of the trade. Each one does the same thing in a different way. Their purpose; they transfer control from the sub to the Dom. Different subs respond differently to different tools but their purpose is the same.

Use them effectively and the power exchange is accomplished efficiently. Think of them as activities and the power exchange may or may not happen. You get caught up in what you are doing and when you are done, all you had was kinky sex. That's OK sometimes, but I'm in it for the power exchange. To feel like a Dom I need to feel the submission in my sub. As the Dom, I am in a position to make that happen but until recently, it wasn't happening consistently. As I started to think of pain and bondage as tools, I began to use them to achieve my goal rather then for their own sake. I still enjoy them, but I am focused on stripping control from my sub.

In the end we both are more satisfied, our sessions are more enjoyable, and I can now say that I think I am finally getting the hang of this.